Alica & Deon
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Alica
With all my other children I smoked through pregnancy. For Hayley I cut down. With Jayden I was smoking like a train. Maddie was a bit of a shock and I didn’t think twice about smoking. With Oliver, my fourth, I had a new trainee, not my usual midwife, and she talked about smoking. Things were probably fresh in her mind from her course.
She wasn’t being awful. She’d been a smoker herself, but she told me that every time I took a puff I was stopping my baby from breathing. I took this in, thinking about how many times I was stopping my baby from taking in oxygen from my blood.
With the others I never actually thought that every time I inhaled, they were not breathing. I did quit for four months at some stage with Hayley, but my partner started again and so did I. What that midwife told me scared the heck out of me. Usually they tell you babies are born with a low birth weight if you smoke, but not in my experience. All mine have been big babies. But thinking every puff stopped oxygen, that made sense. It made the link for me.
I was in shock with this information. It was the words of the wise young lady that triggered me. I’d been offered support with the others, but had declined every time. Not this time. She said it’s my decision and left it to me. I said ‘Now could be the time’.
The thought of quitting was daunting, because having given up before I knew it was hard. I had the health issue of being pregnant, but then there was the big picture of four children or keep smoking. I gave my partner the option ‘Give up. or move down to the garage.’
Jeannie from Smokechange rang me and she was fabulous, positive. At first I thought ‘Whatever.’ I was scared about getting freaked out from withdrawals and what that would mean for the family. I knew I couldn’t do it on my own, that I needed the patches.
I told Jeannie ‘Give me the strong ones!’ I was totally addicted. I know now it’s psychological, but I felt ‘I can’t do this.’ She sent me sample ones and some for Deon. We both wore a patch for three days then I thought ‘That’s it. I don’t need it.’ That is all it took, three days on patches.
Jeannie said to set a date, but I just wanted to do it as soon as humanly possible. I’d smoked more than twenty-five a day since I was sixteen years old, except for one four month gap. I was terrified at the thought of no smokes. She sent out a booklet with the patches. I had in my head it takes twelve days to break the habit. By then all nicotine will be out of my system. It was more about my mindset than patches in the end.
What options did we have? Four kids or keep smoking? The kids are a huge inspiration. We need to put food on the table, and its getting more expensive. We did this for all four of the children even though I wasn’t smokefree during all their pregnancies. That was our main focus.
I had the last cigarette before going to bed. I got up super early the next day and put that patch on and went back to bed. I had no craving for the cigarette which was amazing. Not like before.
Asking Jeannie to give me the strongest one showed my commitment. I was in control by saying ‘Now!’ not a few weeks down the track. That decision gave me confidence in the outcome, but there was some fear that the patches might not work.
Jeannie explained to me about stress, that I was actually more stressed when smoking from having to go for the nicotine when it started to deplete. Having the addiction was the stress. Now, I don’t have the ‘up and down’ of nicotine stress as well as the stress of kids. I was bottoming out. That was an insight for me. I thought ‘Oh my God. Smoking is so not a stress relief.’ I can see that now, because the stress is worse, so much worse when you smoke.
I’ve wanted to give up, but thought ‘How do I do that? I have all these children.’ Why had no-one told me this about stress before because it was so simple. Smoking doesn’t fix anything or take the stress away. You just peak out on nicotine. I’d never ever thought about it like that.
The main reason I gave up was for the health of myself and my kids. To be there for them and their kids so we can support them. They were the four reasons why I had to do it. If I wanted to see them grow up, I did not have a choice. The first two have been very sick because we smoked, and our third one had bronchiolitis.
I’ve been smokefree for nine months now. It’s just life now. We have more time to spend with the children. We don’t get sick any more, either, like we used to.
Kids and smoking don’t go together. Everything we do impacts on the kids. We’re not going to teach them bad habits. And hopefully, we’re not going to get cancer. We could see it before, but resisted. Two packs of rollies a week is one hundred dollars we can put towards food for our two babies. I’ve chosen motherhood as my career. So I’m not going to tempt fate.
Deon
If you’re going to do it you might as well just do it and get it over and done with. We have a family chain of smokers and my grandfather died, so I’m not going down that same path.
It’s definitely made us better people, being smokefree. I think a lot better, now. I notice at work that my problem solving is better. And I feel fitter, a better person.
Come to think of it, I use to be just one of the boys, but now the boss has given me a site to run. Maybe he’s noticed the change.
Money is still really tight, but we can use that money wisely. The money we would have been spending on smokes is now on lay-by for a new table and chairs.
Alica & Deon's Closing Words
Kids and smoking don’t go together. We’ve stepped up, put the kids ahead of smoking and that makes us better people. We’re proud of that fact.
