Cathy

Cathy has four older children and a new born baby. She is seven months smokefree and loving it.

When I was twenty three years old I would smoke and drink alcohol. I didn’t realise the risks. At thirty-eight, having my fifth child, my friends were saying I was aging and the baby may be born retarded or something. I felt like I was putting the baby at risk, by smoking. I was scared my baby might come out defective.

I was nearly four months pregnant when I went to see my midwife for the first time. I said I was smoking and she introduced Carly. Carly came here and tried to explain things. I tried to explain what I felt inside. I was stressed as I had just broken up with my boyfriend and I was working. Smoking helped me release stress.

Carly gave me patches and gum, but I didn’t use those things. They made me vomit. Day by day I felt ‘I need to stop.’ With Carly coming over I was smoking less and less.

I didn’t want my Filipino friends to see me smoking. Having our own kind around helped. I come from a place where women smoking doesn’t look good. People are going to judge you. Only prostitutes smoke in my country. I didn’t even like smoking around European women. I was trying to protect myself from them so they won’t judge me.

I’ve been smokefree now for seven months. I feel different. At first I felt irritated, angry. I snapped just like that. Felt a bit dizzy. But now I feel healthy inside. Before I felt weak, lazy.

I don’t want to smell when I breastfeed. Makes me feel angry inside when visitors smoke here, even if they do go outside. It’s a little bit of being Filipino, but mainly the baby is the biggest issue.  I just want everything to be smokefree.

I notice smells from cooking, the dog, the boys shoes! I have to wash the dog a lot. Now I’m thinking of giving the dog away because I cannot stand the smell! Yet I put up with it for years when I smoked.

After I got out of hospital I felt energetic, healthy inside. I can smell my hair now, if I have a shower. Before I couldn’t even smell it, even though I used a nice shampoo. Before, when I’d have an asthma attack it was really bad. I’d be rushed to hospital for the nebuliser. Now I’ve even had the flu, but no asthma. Financially things have changed, too. I used to spend money on tobacco. Now I don’t have to.

Being smokefree is good for inside and outside your body. When I was with my ex- boyfriend I didn’t want to go out and socialise. But now, I can’t wait for this (caesarean wound) to heal. I want to go out and have fun again. For three years I just stayed in the house doing house work. Now I feel like I want to be out there again and socialise.

I feel like I’m younger. I notice my skin doesn’t look old anymore. My eyes, also, I don’t have to use my driving glasses. I keep them by the door because my license says I should.
People who are smoking don’t know what they are missing in life. I used to be very tired and  didn’t feel like talking to my kids and asking them about things. While Iwas doing the cooking I was smoking as well. Then I’d go to sleep. Now I’m energetic and I’m really enjoying it.

For the first four months of this pregnancy I was not really thinking. I was angry with my boyfriend. He is 23 and I’m 38. Drug addict, gambler, alcoholic, you don’t expect these things to change. After he got out of rehab he came with me to antenatal visits. I was shocked when he said he wanted to be in hospital when the baby was born. He was there the whole time.

Now the father of this baby is clean. He gave up drugs and alcohol. He’s started studying now so he can support me. Being a father has changed him. We are not together anymore, but I want him to be part of my baby’s life. Things are really different now. I prefer to be in my situation right now.

My thinking and thoughts are also clearer now. I feel laid back now. I’ve lost interest in smoking. It tastes yucky. You can put it in front of me now and even people smoking in front of me won’t tempt me.

Cathy's Closing Words

Before when I was four months pregnant I did not expect all these things to happen. On my phone is my baby’s photo. It stops me having a slip. One day when my baby son can talk I’ll want to show him this booklet and say, ‘All because of you it made your mummy change.’ This baby really changed my life.